We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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