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He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
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