this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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