I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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