i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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