my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
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I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
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All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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