he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize