When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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