Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

You're so nebulous sometimes

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(586): You're so nebulous sometimes http://tfl.nu/wa9d

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(514): View more from Quebec

Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

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(514): Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight. http://tfl.nu/evaz

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(845): View more from New York

i can't find my house

(1-845): View more from New York

we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.

(845): View more from New York

i'm pretty sure my house moved.

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(845): i can't find my house (1-845): we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago. (845): i'm pretty sure my house moved. http://tfl.nu/nzng

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(201): View more from New Jersey

there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke

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(201): there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke http://tfl.nu/pyjl

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(802): View more from Vermont

i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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(802): i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please. http://tfl.nu/g6pa

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(203): View more from Connecticut

the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt

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(203): the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt http://tfl.nu/wx0v

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(559): View more from California

He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.

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(559): He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him. http://tfl.nu/1qyh

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays

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(267): Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays http://tfl.nu/fevr

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(510): View more from California

Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands

(1-510): View more from California

Tgat was the small dick alert

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(510): Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands (1-510): Tgat was the small dick alert http://tfl.nu/0ham

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(812): View more from Indiana

I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.

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(812): I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy. http://tfl.nu/z5fr

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(573): View more from Missouri

Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.

(1-573): View more from Missouri

Mardi gras at its finest.

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(573): Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay. (1-573): Mardi gras at its finest. http://tfl.nu/2k5p

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(651): View more from Minnesota

dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.

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(651): dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/gquq

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(509): View more from Washington

He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced

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(509): He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced http://tfl.nu/0gfy

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(503): View more from Oregon

My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

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(503): My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again. http://tfl.nu/bmoz

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(970): View more from Colorado

You can't spell "party" without "RA."

(1-970): View more from Colorado

You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."

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(970): You can't spell "party" without "RA." (1-970): You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired." http://tfl.nu/jawl

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