VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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