maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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