Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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