If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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