Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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