hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize