To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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