summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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