He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
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He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
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I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize