I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
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He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
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he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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