sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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