I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize