Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I could fuck to npr.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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