so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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