did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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