imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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