trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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