I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize