My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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