If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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