i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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