I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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