I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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