Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize