Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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