I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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