Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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