The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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