He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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