And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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