Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
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There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
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That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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