small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
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No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
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No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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