I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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