Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dicks are not precious.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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