I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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