you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Let's get the cat blown out
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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