guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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