the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
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She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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