the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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