My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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