My brain says no but my pants say off.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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